Theory vs Fact

Note: A lot of what is written here owes a great deal to Stephen Jay Gould. Full credit to one of the most brilliant men in biology and archaeology.

Evolution. It's only a theory. Blah blah blah. Who else is sick and fucking tired of these moronic creationists constantly foaming at the mouth, vomiting forth their sickening and completely wrong call-to-arms that 'Evolution is only a theory'? Do these dolts actually have functioning brains, or are these ignorant, American, fucking fat lumps devoid of even the simplest critical abilities? First, defining a theory.

A theory isn't a glorified guess. It doesn't exist in a hierarchy of truth-value. In science, there does not exist a ladder that starts out with lie, progresses to guess, reaches theory and then ends up at fact. In science, a theory is an argument, or structure of arguments, that seeks to explain and interpret facts. Gravity is a fact. If I drop a ball, barring wind-resistance and so-forth, it will fall to the ground. This is a fact. The theory that explains and interprets this fact is the geometric bending of space-time caused by objects with mass. Without going into what constitutes a viable theory, whether it can be falsified and testable etc etc etc, a theory can never be an absolute truth. But it can be incredibly strong.

The same can be said about Evolution. Evolution is the fact. Organisms change over periods of time, mutating and diversifying in an endless process of restructure. The major theory that explains how this constant diversification occurs and how organisms survive and pass on their genetic material to their offspring is natural selection. Other theories that interpret the fact of evolution include genetic drift, adaptation and gene flow, but the fact stays the same; organisms change and pass those changes onto their offspring.

Perhaps the major irritant of the constant assertion that 'evolution is only a theory' is the implication that a theory is a second-rate fact; a guess, an estimate, something to be sneered at until it reaches the status of fact. A theory is so much more than that. It helps us to understand the world around us, and the universe that we occupy. We have been gathering facts since the dawn of time; bloody neanderthals knew that fire was hot, that the sun rose and set and that there were bright lights in the sky at night. But through scientific progress we now understand those facts so much more clearly. We now understand that the lights aren't glimpses of heaven through holes in the sky, but stars. We understand that the sun doesn't 'rise', but that the Earth turns. And we know that organisms aren't static and un-changing. We understand that over millions (yes, MILLIONS) of years creatures change and mutate.

The basic premise of the creationist stance is that they know they are right. The bible is truth, and it is not the book that must change, but the evidence. Science changes based on the discovery of new facts and formulation of new theories. The books reflect the current evidence, and if that evidence changes then so do the books. Science is ever self-critical and always changing, constantly updating itself and shedding off the layers of failed theories and misunderstood facts. However, creationists will be damned if they ever change. Literally. They have a book that they know is right; they have preachers that know there is a God; they have educators that know evolution doesn't occur. And all the evidence is expendable if it doesn't fit with their personal beliefs. Well, to thinking people, the evidence is never expendable, and it's about time that the school boards in the South of the grand ol' U.S.A begin to purge themselves of the useless sponges that occupy seats which should be filled by people with I.Q's above 100.